The Aftermath of our referral...

So many emotions have happened since we received our referral a little over a week ago. I went from so excited...barely slept the 1st few days..stared at his picture non stop (getting a little better as the days go by with that)...then tuned to teary a few days later. I have to say that until we got "the call" I was a nervous mess...especially the days just before because I felt it coming...and now a sense of calmness has come over me. I am sooo grateful that I know who he is...what he has been through..and can look at his beautiful face and see the biggest smile in all his pictures! He has had it very very hard..and through all that he inspires me to take nothing for granted. So I am content at this point knowing that one day I will bring him home. I am soo praying it's before rainy season because I can barely let my mind go to the place to even consider that may not happen. But if it doesn't I have to be honest and say that I will be a mess but will find strength in the Lord that he will continue to take care of him as he has until I can get to him.
Until our referral I was so focused on me getting our referral..me..me..me but now I am focusing on the families that tried to make it though court this week. Sadly many weren't able to pass and my prayers are that they get united quickly. I want a court date and so pray for that many times a day. But God has been so so good to our family and our Jaden has shown such strength in his little life already that I feel that I can't obsess over when I get the call for our court date. So many families are waiting on the referrals and would love to be in my position and I know that and am appreciative of where I am in the process.
I have to say to everyone waiting that now that I am here I want to say that everything really is in God's hands and will happen at the perfect time. I want to share what I realized this past week. When trying to get on the wait list I was rushing everything as fast as possible. We did it all in exactly 2 months so that tells you how crazy I was during that process. I felt such a strong need to hit the list as fast as possible. I was overnighting everything FedEx to speed things up and at the very end my social workers agency sent my home study to our dossier company without the certification of their agency and I remember being in tears...completely a mess that now I was going to be stalled a few more days until she could get that and now someone may hit the list before us. And they did. One family asking for a boy in the same age range and God thankfully but this roadblock in the way so that we ended up with our son we were supposed to have. One look at his photo and I knew..my husband knew..and our family..that he was our son we were meant to have...that God created the obstacle to get us on the list exactly where were to be. I see the other children that have been referred and am in awe..touched..and love to read about them. And then we saw our son and you just know to the core of who you are....he is truly the one!!
I am an typical woman with a good life, wonderful family and a great job. I have friends and function in society as most others and am not a person who typically brings up religion much. But this process has changed me forever. I have always believed. Without a doubt and have always had a relationship with God. Always. But never like this...never have I seen him talk to me so clearly and show me in so many ways that he is hearing me and walking beside me always...and for that I am so grateful!!